A conversation in response to 12/3/2016, 1/19/2017: On Perfectionism and Creativity

*In early 2017, a friend had some questions about a post. My response ended up summarizing my whole soteriology at the time, which of course is built with the humble and talented bricks of so many profs, books, and pastors and mortared together with my own thought and experience.

For my writing this morning, I made an emoji to more accurately depict my mood.

Lord,

I believe.

Help

My

Wisdom.

He unearthed

His knife,

Dipped it

In clouds,

And heaped

Them upon

The morning

Molten petals sweep
Into night.

And awaiting awaking,
I breathe,

For I am the mastodon.
I am the birdshout.

I am the awakening
Night.

I woke up in the best way today—a bit stark raving. Every thought is a letter.

I drink from a red mug with a chip in it. Wabi sabi, the Japanese might call it. There’s a glory in the fractured. You won’t find it, in this world, in the perfect. This is, right now, my favorite mug. I didn’t like it especially yesterday, and I probably won’t tomorrow, having returned to that erking and ever-present worry that I might not be perfect.

I wish I could find it, but I read a meme earlier with a pic of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer that said something like, “Standing out only leads to benefit if it can also benefit other persons, in which case it becomes extortion.” And that’s quite like the idea of the story, though from a cynical slant.

And while I think the idea needs some counterbalancing to be true, I think there’s something to be said about how worldly success works. Every person is intrinsically out for his own good. Such was the effect of the fall.

Have you ever watched the sea? I’ve only really watched it from the shore, and not that even that much.

It moves like breath. In, out. Like the back of a child, up, down, as it sleeps in its crib. A heavenly hand caresses it with cloudy touch. In, out.

Dreams sleep there. Water fairies and krakens and pirates and the sky. The sea holds our dread, and it holds shores.

This sent me spinning.

Kind of reminds me of my reaction when reading The Grace Awakening.

Is self-absorption wrong? Short answer—only when it lacks love.

If the focus on self follows a similar model to C.S. Lewis’s metaphor about ships, then no.

(08/30/2023: I never published this.)

Thank you, southern-conservative-moralistic-Judeo-Christian-legalism for making me feel guilty for cussing.

Vulgarity can make stories more realistic. A good example is this– https://www.fathommag.com/stories/hes-alright-this-doug

His characters cuss a lot (from my traditional standards), and if they didn't, the story and the characters would be completely different. For one thing, they sound like real people. Real people sound like that. And because of this particular characterization,